I’ve been wanting to publish a blog post for ages, but after such a long gap I felt like I needed to address my absence and not just churn out a fluffy post about fashion or makeup, like it was nothing.
I don’t want to be cryptic but equally I don’t want to overshare. I will say that the last 2-3 months have really been quite a personal slog, with some proverbial shit hitting the fan.
Finding myself stressed to the point of burn out, I had to go into complete self preservation mode which meant clearing my workload, retreating from social media and focussing 100% on my own health and wellbeing so that I would have something in my cup to pour, as the saying goes.
My usual coping mechanisms (if you could call them that) would be shutting myself away and avoiding social interaction and reaching for the crisps and biscuits. However, as I said in my last blog, piling on weight through stress eating has affected my self confidence to the point that I just knew I couldn’t go down that road any more.
So, instead I busted out an old faithful, familiar workout DVD and sweated, grimaced, puffed and panted my way through half an hour of exercise in my living room. And then I did it the next day and the next day and the next day…
Exercise is so much about mind over matter for me that once I’d battled the devil on my shoulder telling me to sack off my workout, it seemed so much easier to tackle the devil on my other shoulder dangling a packet of biscuits in front of me.
And that’s it really. I put all my mental energy into hunkering down and conquering my fitness and eating habits that I felt I didn’t have anything left to give for blogging or any form of creativity. But it’s been so worth it because I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in years. So much so that I’ve started to take my fitness to the next level, with more challenging programs, heavier weights, a nutritional plan to follow and a coach who checks in with me to keep me accountable and gives me support on days like yesterday where a packet of biscuits did accidentally fall into my mouth and I had a bit of a wobble. I’m still battling those demons; even if I’m winning more than I’m losing now.